Lust

Lust was once defined as a desire for something that cannot righteously be fulfilled, or for something that is contrary to the will of God.

As I sit here at 2:49am, nauseous, I confess… 

I evidently have a lustful addiction to ice cream. 😬😔

Yeah I know that sounds funny, but I’m not joking. I’m actually serious.

Honestly, I knew I should stop halfway through the pint, but it was so good that I kept on going, little spoonful after little spoonful…as though a little spoonful could sneak under the stomach’s radar undetected and be fine. The Little Voice (otherwise known as the “conscience”, a.k.a. the Holy Spirit of God) was telling me to stop and I just keep going, little bit by little bit, until…uh oh!…I had finished the whole thing!😲 (As if I didn’t know that was happening with every…deceitfully…sneaky little spoonful.)

And now? My stomach is saying, “Again?! Seriously?! Why didn’t you listen? How many times are you going to do this before it finally affects a change in your choices?!”

Now that makes it sound like I do this all the time, like every or nearly every day. But it’s actually just a couple times a month. Still, excess is excess, lust is lust, especially when I ignore the cautions of GOD to fulfill a desire that later impacts my health and makes my body (His temple) ill. And I am reminded of James 4:7 that says, “For him who knows the right thing to do but doesn’t do it, to him it is sin.” Sin. 😳 The right thing to do was to LISTEN and STOP, but instead I just ignored GOD and kept on going. Why? Because I wanted it and deceived myself into thinking THIS TIME would be DIFFERENT. 🙄 

You know what else that sounds like? Addiction. It may not be classified as a “drug”, but yes, food (especially sugar) can ALSO be addictive.

So I sit here confronted with the reality of my choices and actions. I’ve done wrong, by God (because I ignored His cautions) and by myself (because nausea is not the symptom of a healthy non-detrimental choice), thereby doubly sinning against God because my body is His temple. 

Some may say I’m overthinking this, but really, I’m not. It’s a reality that very few of us want to think about because it brings conviction, a confrontation by the consequences resulting from choices and subsequent actions and repercussions.

And I’m humbled. I could choose to be prideful and apathetic toward this revelation…or be humbled by seeing it for what it is, resolving to repent, seeking God to strengthen me against that weakness, and choosing to allow God to remove that flaw in my character. Because let’s face it: a character flaw of any kind (when left alone, ignored, minimalized, and swept under the rug) could easily spread like a cancer and mutant into other areas and aspects of character. So I therefore choose to be humbled, contrite, and repentant. 

If you struggle with something in your own life, that may even seem ok to the world at large, but you know in your heart and mind is something God does not desire for you, feel free to join in with me when I hereby choose to denounce my behavior and pray…

God, please forgive me of my sin of lust for what is unhealthy for me, and for entertaining an addiction that overrides the cautionings of your precious Holy Spirit. When the nausea over my choices has passed, do not let me whitewash or forget this resolve. Anything that is served even for a moment, instead of You, has become a “god”, and the first three commandments make it very clear that this is wrong (aka a sin against You). Please forgive me for being permissive, rebellious, and dishonoring You. Please take this behavior, this character flaw, out of me. I completely surrender to You and humbly ask You to bring every part of me into right standing with You, so that I will honor You and properly care for Your temple. Thank you. In Jesus’ name I ask and pray. Amen.